One Month of Sawyer Jay

Sawyer is one month old! I can't even believe it. He has already changed so much since he was born. Here are some tidbits about our little man.

Sawyer has such a strong neck! He supports his head so well already. He also has super strong legs. All the nurses comment on it. When I am feeding him he will kick and push himself off the armrest. You can also hold him up in a standing position and he pushes off, supporting himself.

He is so alert and loves to look around. He does not like to be held facing towards you, he wants to be able to look out towards everyone to see whats going on.

He is obsessed with ceiling fans and lights. He finds it as soon as we enter the room and is mesmerized by them.

He has the goofiest most adorable smiles. I have tried to capture them, and they don't do it justice at all. He also has the funniest facial expressions. He makes me laugh everyday.

His kisses. Oh my goodness I die. I kiss his little lips and he snaps his mouth open. I'm obsessed. I realize he's probably just rooting, but I don't care. It looks like he's kissing back, and I love it.

We are still deciding if we like the pacifier. Sometimes he loves it and it's the only thing that calms him down. And sometimes he looks so angry when I put it in his mouth, he spits it out and wants nothing to do with it. I thought he was going to be a finger/thumb sucker. He sucked on his fingers in the hospital and in the first couple days of his life, but he's not too interested in them anymore.

Sawyer is just now starting to grow out of newborn size clothes. The onesies still fit him well, but the pants are too short now, and the full body footsie jammies are starting to be a little too tight in the length.

When Sawyer was born he has no eyelashes and no eyebrows. His eyelashes have grown in really well, we're still working on the eyebrows.

Sawyer has a birthmark on the back of his neck right at the hair line. I thought maybe it was a stork bite that would go away, but it doesn't seem to be fading at all yet. It might be here to stay. It is red and looks like a little chain of islands.

1 week

2 weeks

3 weeks

1 month

4 Weeks Post Pregnancy: I'm Surviving

My baby is 4 weeks old. I can't even believe it. Later this week I have a post coming all about Sawyer and his first month of life, but today I wanted to talk about me. Selfish I know.

My mom and sister got to come visit me this weekend and it was wonderful. I love having them here. My mom and I got to talking about my pregnancy and having another baby. (We are definitely not planning baby 2 for quite some time, we were just talking.) Anyway, that got me reflecting on motherhood so far. And you know what? It's been hard. 

I don't feel like I was properly prepared for how hard it would be. I didn't really enjoy being pregnant.  What got me through some of the hard times was knowing I would have my baby at the end of it. I couldn't wait for Sawyer to get here. And I thought it was going to be pie. I like babies. Babies like me. I've changed babies, and calmed crying babies, and babysat. My mom raised 5 babies, and she made it look easy. I can totally do this. How hard could it be? 

People told me I wouldn't be getting any sleep. People told me that my hormones would be a little crazy. People told me that breastfeeding can be tricky. But even with all of that, I was completely blindsided by how hard it was when all of that is combined, and how overwhelmed I felt. 

There were days I just cried. For no reason, I couldn't help it. There were days, or nights rather, when I couldn't figure out how to calm my baby, or how to feed him, and he was crying and I was crying and I just felt completely helpless. And overwhelmed. And scared. 

Normally I would never be able to admit all of this, and expose this scary, emotional, part of my life out here in this space. But you know what? We survived. Sawyer and me.

And now things are getting better. I can almost always calm him when he's crying. Last night he slept for 5 hours straight. We are almost nursing pros. It's getting easier each day. And I'm getting more and more confidant in this new role. And I love him. Boy do I love him. A little smile from him even in the hardest time, makes my heart melt.

We're still figuring some things out (like the moby wrap? Why is this thing so hard!?), but we're making it.

The Husband's Secret

You wouldn't think that a new mom would have tons of time to read, but when you're only sleeping 6 hours a night, and only in 2 or 3 hour increments, and when you're rocking a baby for a lot of your day slash night, and nursing too, you actually do have a little time to read. Read and to watch a lot of TV.

I just finished reading The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty. I read Big Little Lies by the same author just before this, and I really enjoyed it, so I thought I would try out another of her books, and I was not disappointed. It was very good.

Here's Amazon's review:

Imagine that your husband wrote you a letter, to be opened after his death. Imagine, too, that the letter contains his deepest, darkest secret—something with the potential to destroy not just the life you built together, but the lives of others as well. Imagine, then, that you stumble across that letter while your husband is still very much alive. . . .
Cecilia Fitzpatrick has achieved it all—she’s an incredibly successful businesswoman, a pillar of her small community, and a devoted wife and mother. Her life is as orderly and spotless as her home. But that letter is about to change everything, and not just for her: Rachel and Tess barely know Cecilia—or each other—but they too are about to feel the earth-shattering repercussions of her husband’s secret.

Acclaimed author Liane Moriarty has written a gripping, thought-provoking novel about how well it is really possible to know our spouses—and, ultimately, ourselves. 

I love it when books have different story lines and characters that end up all connecting and running together!

I've also finished watching Dexter, New Girl, The League, and have almost finished Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I'm greatly anticipating Friends being on Netflix, which I have heard is happening soon!

If you guys have any Netflix show recommendations, or book recommendations please send them my way! I see many more sleep deprived nights in my future, but this little bug makes it all worth it.

Halloween!

I love Halloween! It's so fun, and really one of my favorite holidays. I love a good excuse to wear a costume. Back when I was still pregnant I asked Justin what we should be for Halloween this year. His reply: "parents." Ok, good point. Not the most fun idea, but with Sawyer only being a few weeks old, I wasn't sure what our plans would be. But just because I wouldn't be dressing up, that does not mean that Sawyer couldn't! I found him a costume before he was even born and I was so excited to put him in it yesterday morning!

Well we decided that it was the perfect excuse to show off Baby M at my school! About 5 minutes before we are set to leave Sawyer spits up on his costume. Great. But oh well, he's a baby. Babies spit up. I wiped him up best I could and finished my breakfast. Then, right when I picked him up to put him in his carseat, he pees through his outfit and is literally dripping pee on the floor. I had to strip him down, wash his little consume, and throw it in the dryer. Resulting in us being 45 minutes late to school. But really, how could I have taken him without his costume!?

After we sufficiently showed him off, we ran some errands and then headed home. We had a few hours to kill before meeting up with some other friends to trick or treat at the mall (we're big partiers now that we have a baby ;)). Anyway, with about an hour until departure time… Sawyer poops through his outfit. I swear… this kid is determined to not wear this costume! But don't worry, I got it cleaned up and dried in time for him to wear it to our next event!

Here are some fun pictures from our Halloween festivities over the last couple of days!!

We carved pumpkins and made pizza and caramel apples with family on Thursday night!

And the infamous costume!

Hope you all had a happy, fun Halloween!!